kiriman dari kejauhan ....

Mawar Berduri

"Assalamualaikum Umi, How's Ur day today?"

Pesanan ringkas masuk kedalam mesej aplikasi Whatsaps.

Umi merupakan panggilan manja sahabat-sahabat saya semasa saya tinggal dirumah sewa yang penuh suasananya solehah dan kami dapat rasakan seperti satu keluarga kecil. Memandangkan antara mereka saya yang paling berusia, berserta perwatakan keibuan maka mereka anugerahkan panggilan itu khusus untuk saya. Manakala rakan2 lain masing-masing memiliki nama panggilan mesra keluarga.

" Hmm... not so well Along .. Umi down sangat kebelakangan ni :( " saya mengadu pada Along, sahabat akrab saya sejak semester pertama ijazah di UPM. Persahabatan kami mencecah 13tahun.

" Dua hari sepatutnya fokus, tapi dapat fokus sebentar sahaja kemudian selebihnya Umi sleep" terusan saya mengadu lagi.

"It's ok Umi, at least you still have a progress right?" Along yang berada di Brisbane, Australia juga seperti saya bertungkus-lumus menamatkan pengajian PhDnya....dari kejauhan sana cuba memujuk.

"What's bothering you?" seperti biasa, dia adalah sahabat yang mudah menghidu masalah yang berserabut walau tersorok dipelusuk hati paling dalam.

"Tentang seseorang dan tentang sesuatu" saya memberi klu.

"Hmm... Umi perlu lupakan semua itu dan fokus apa yang sepatutnya sekarang Umi. Fight to let all those distraction away from you." Along memberikan nasihat.

:(

dan saya tiada kata-kata.

"I know it's was hard for you dear, but as usual... I knew you can face this trials."

"Previously, was much more tougher right? This is just a small matter ..."

"You have to put "it" a side "

"But how?" Saya bertanya sekadar ingin terus Along memberikan kata-kata motivasi, biarpun saya tahu jawapannya

"Try not to have any contact with him"

"I had done that, we are only chat for working purpose only. But ...I don't know why I am miss him so much, sometimes I am crying " Saya meluahkan situasi itu saat ketika saya tak berupaya mengawal "emosi sedih" mula menyalut diri. Salah satu kesan depresi yang masih tersisa.

"hmm... you still not let him go didn't you? If you love him. You have to let him go. If he is yours he will come and hand over you as a wife. If not, you have to move on dear"

"Along.... why all of sudden this trials came again and again? I am tired enough! at this critical point of my life" Saya terus menyalahkan keadaan.

"Umi... Allah love you, He keep on trying to lead you to be a Solehah Muslimah. That's why He send him to you. For you to choose His love or his love you are looking for"

Saya terdiam.

Ya, tidak dinafikan. Banyak kali sudah "seseorang dan sesuatu" itu hadir sepanjang perjalanan saya ini. Seakan cuba menguji prinsip mawar berduri yang saya cuba pertahankan.

"Let me ask you...did he bothering you? did he always contact you to chat till you fall in love with him? did he say something that showing he like you"

"None right?"

Saya terus diam

"I am sorry if this will hurt you a bit.. but what I can see is you are chasing your own shadow dear... He did not looking for you. am I right? He just a friend and he choose you because you are pleasant... you are easy to working with..that's all" Along terus menerus "menampar" saya dengan "tamparan" kata yang amat pedih..walau diawalnya dia cuba berhati-hati agar tidak menguriskan perasaan saya yang rapuh.

"Yeah... it's true ... it's just my feelings ... :(  "

" I am not saying it was a wrong feelings.. cause that's feeling was from Allah.. It's "fitrah" but you have to overcome it.. It was wrong if you cannot work, study and do amal ibadah because thingking of him.. That's totally wrong!"

"I got it Along... I will try my best.. fighting!"

"Sorry Umi... if I am hurting you with my words"

"No.. no.. it's okay.. it's cure me :) "

"Thank you Along ... "

:)

Telus dan terus-terang. 

Begitulah seharusnya sahabat. Demi tidak mahu melihat sahabatnya hanyut dengan mainan perasaan.

Allahuakhbar!

Begitulah perjalanan ini... berwarna-warni. Kali ini merah jambu warnanya. aduh!

Memang sakit bila terkena virus merah jambu ni. Perlu cepat-cepat cari antidot!




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